Contributed by Michael Forster

1. Minorities were first admitted in 1892 and women were in 1918.
2. Scientologists are still not permitted to attend.
3. Case offers over 200 courses.
4. But one of those is FPS…so, not really impressive.
5. Case’s U.S. News and World Report ranking is 63rd, down almost ten spots from last year.
6. But I swear, we’re holding at 63rd. Not going to drop any further.
7. Annual tuition is $36,150.00
8. But that’s not too high, because you already have a job lined up to pay it back, don’t you?
9. One of our distinguished faculty members, Michael Scharf, is an expert on international affairs, appears often on CNN and has a beard.
10. Wait, that’s Wolf Blitzer I was thinking of.
11. No, it’s Scharf, too.
12. Many of our alumni have gone on to great accomplishments in business, becoming leading executives at successful companies like Coca-Cola, Energizer, Xerox, and Citigroup.
13. Uh, one of those companies maybe isn’t so successful…
14. Fred Gray graduated from Case, became a legendary civil rights advocate, and went on to defend MLK Jr. and Rosa Parks.
15. Too bad you’re probably going to end up defending an evil, Earth-polluting corporation and will limit your “activism” to an occasional donation to the Democratic Party or Green Peace.
16. Case’s bar passage rate is 85 percent.
17. Look to your right, and then look to your left. 15 percent of the people you just looked at are going to be cursing themselves in 1-3 years for trying to become a lawyer.
18. Case is located in sunny Cleveland, home of the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame and NBA star LeBron James.
19. One of those institutions is going to be located in New York in 2010, I won’t say which.
20. 60 percent of the students are from outside of Ohio.
21. That means that 60 percent hate Ohio State, and the other 40 percent make fools of themselves whenever “Hang On Sloopy” comes on in a bar.
22. 43 percent of the students are women.
23. If the law school’s composition adds three percent more men to the total, Case will earn the vaunted “Sausagefest” Ranking from U.S. News and World Reports.
24. Case has an exhaustive writing competition every 1L year for submissions to the Health Matrix, International Law and Law Review Journals.
25. Or you could just write for the Docket. They give idiots like me a column, and no footnoting is required